See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Have you ever met a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. It could be just some guy with a big ass.Ĭome on! No doctor would put that on his car. It doesn't have to be someone who gets a lot of women. Who would order a license plate that says "Assman"? Somebody got mine and I got their vanity plates. If you could you'd guzzle it by the gallon! Ovaltine! Hershey's! No, and only the purest syrup nectar can satisfy you! Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean. So what's your pleasure? Is it the salty snacks you crave? No no no no no, yours is a sweet tooth. You're a portly fellow, a bit long in the waistband. Uh, what kind of man are you? Well, you're weak, spineless, a man of temptations, but what tempts you? And no numbers for you, you're a word man. Um, well, we can throw out birthdays immediately. Oh, come on, just tell me your code already. What is that, a Titleist? Hole in one, huh? So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction. I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me but I knew something was there. Well then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him - face to face with the blowhole. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I tell you he was ten stories high if he was a foot. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great beast appeared before me. The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I get enough headaches just trying to manufacture the stuff. If you think I'm looking for someone to just sit at a desk, pushing papers around, you can forget it. I'm gonna hire you as my latex salesman? I don't think so. You're considering hiring me for your latex salesman. So now, when the phone rings, you have to answer "Vandelay Industries". Did anybody call here asking for Vandelay Industries?Īll right, listen closely, I was at the unemployment office and I told them I was very close to getting a job with Vandelay Industries, and I gave them your phone number.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |